I would guess that the vast majority of people do not even slightly care about the answer to any of those questions when they ask. In fact most people are usually upset/frustrated when the person being asked fully replies with an honest answer about how they are truly doing.
There are few phrases in our culture that are more hallow than these. It's SO frustrating to me, especially since I completely fit into that description.
I am issuing you all (and myself) a challenge: If you feel that you must use these questions as a greeting, be ready for a real reply. If you are asked these, please think for a moment and give the person asking a real response. There are two ways it could turn out: They will appreciate the personal experience, or they will stop asking questions that they do not want the answers to.
Our culture is getting less and less personal with the increase of technological forms of communication, it is. When we ask questions that can make relationships with others more personal, let's start expecting that is exactly what is going to happen.
I have to disagree with this post.
ReplyDeleteThe only time those questions become hollow is when your reply angry/disappointed when the responder gives you a real response which, personally, I've never seen and has never happened to me. I've just heard a lot of people talk about it.
One time I asked a cashier how she was doing and she replied angrily with, "What if I said my day was bad?!" and I responded, "I'd ask why." She shut up.
However, the opposite is true as well. One time, in a theater, I saw a friend and I asked her what she had been up to, and she shouted and exclaimed about how her fiance and broke off their engagement days prior.
Everybody has different ideas of what the bounds of propriety are for these situations. AKA TMI. For me, topics are pretty much open to whatever on a one-on-one basis, but the minute I'm in public, even if the conversation is one-on-one, I get really bothered/uncomfortable when I or other people I don't know that well shout about their personal problems.
tl;dr: I disagree. People, in general, care about how their peers feel.